The Incomplete Lady-Part I

By: Tania Bhattacharyya

She was not the ``Complete Lady’’ she desperately wanted to be.

She was married and had a son.

She lived in a costly and spacious well furnished flat in a posh locality of a city with her husband and in-laws. The flat had been bought by dishonest means.

Her Facebook page was flooded with photos with her husband on different occasions.  They always appeared to be a lovey-dovey couple.

Her Facebook page was flooded with cute pictures with her son in very loving poses on different occasions. She appeared to be a very loving and caring mother.

For her, posting photos of happy moments with her husband, daughter, relatives and friends was an obsession which increased day by day- so also, posting photos with her colleagues in her office to show she was a wonderful boss.

She appeared to be one of the happiest and most complete ladies the world has ever seen.

True bonding does not lead to a desire of desperate show-off. To showcase love does not turn into an obsession.

But her mind was always preoccupied with the nature of the comments and the number of likes, loves and wows.

It was an obsession which she tried to glorify in social circles. The glorification was forced and overdone with forced smiles and forced displays of love and affection.

In society, display of ``obsession’’ and the sick restless ``energy’’ associated with it makes you initially climb a few staircases of fame amidst your peers and family members, overlooking the downward spiral reserved for the future.

Obsession is a sick mentality. It originates from some kind of void, and a desperate need to kind of shut up the screaming inner voice always reminding you of that void and pricking you constantly by overdoing some forceful repetitive action. It kind of consumes your whole self and leads to a chronic mental unrest.  Being calm and composed becomes a distant dream. Seeing a calm and composed person devoid of obsession also becomes very painful. You feel, ``Why is that person not obsessed like me?’’

She was also not an exception.

Actually, she loved her husband’s wealth and contacts but not her husband.  Being a mother was too burdensome for her.

She felt guilty towards her husband and child. Posting photos in Facebook was a kind of self-consolation for her, but still, deep down in her heart, she felt guilty.

She was the Facebook Diva always forcefully trying to reign supreme. Often the Facebook pages seemed to mock her.

 Whenever she met or saw others, the negative emotional sequence of ``Compare...Contrast....Compete.......Ego Clash’’ started working inside her. She also had to have this....she also had to do this......... to get accolades.

She overtly and minutely observed others figures, faces, outfits, what others were eating, how much others were eating ................ minutely tried to hear what others were saying, to whom were they talking on the phone and so on, tried to know the relationship status of others....................it was not her business.................but it was her business, very important business.

 Her self-detachment led to loss of self-control, intelligence and decision-making ability.

She had to tell everything to others, what she had, what she did, she always had to ask others what they were doing....she had to know....... she started to lose control of her mouth.

She had to know what others were doing, the shortcomings of the lives of others................she was never at peace with herself...............she tried to derive some consolation by detecting and magnifying the faults, petty issues,  holes in other’s lives, bullying and backstabbing.