If's and Oh's

By: Pratima Tamang

If i detach myself from my surroundings, oh i had thought i would be free from all the materialistic world beside me.
If i go away from the ones who love me, i had hoped i would be free from all the drama governing my life.
If i stayed away from my family, oh i had planned on being free on all my decision-makings.
If i break away from society's shackles, i had envisioned myself freely soaring the never-ending skies.
If i disapper from the social world, i had imagined finding Zen and floating free on the clouds of peace.
If i had zero contact with the people around me, oh how i had hoped i could be living freely in my own cocoon and building castles of dreams in my sleep.
If i stopped making friends and building relations,oh i believed it would save me from all the hurt and the pain.
If i never fell in love, oh i wonder if it could still be the same.
If i stopped hoping and wishing, oh i would finally be free from my own expectations and disappointments.
If i could somehow take it all back, oh could i ever the same person again?
If i had never been violated, would i truly understand the beauty that my body possessed?
If i had not been left alone to dry my own tears, would i be more careful about whom i drown in cries?
If  i was not pushed into the dark, would i still recognize the light?
If they actually showed me how much they loved me, oh i would still not be out seeking for a little more love.
If you could just accept my flaws, oh i will be ready to give you my all.
If you just agree to listen patiently without judging me, you will have the love i have never shown.
If you take me for who i am, oh believe me baby there is a heaven unknown waiting only for this love to bloom and grow.