CHAPTER 4

Lessons of Life: Learn, Unlearn, Evolve

If you think that everything you’ve learned since childhood was entirely your own doing, you’re mistaken. Many of the things you’ve been taught were instilled in you by others, often forcefully. While there were some lessons you actively sought to learn on your own, most of what we know comes from the teachings of those around us. We often don’t realize this until we reach a certain point in our lives when it becomes clear that our knowledge is a mix of self-taught lessons and those imparted to us by others. Not all of our learning comes from personal mistakes; much of it comes from observing and absorbing the experiences of others.

When you start to learn and grow, your focus often shifts to avoiding mistakes. You become more cautious, often looking to others for guidance on what not to do, learning from their errors so you don’t have to repeat them. Those who have more experience than you often try to teach you how to navigate situations with greater wisdom and care, offering advice based on their past challenges. However, there’s a significant difference between learning from your own experiences and learning from someone else’s. While advice and guidance from others can be helpful, the lessons we learn through our own experiences are far more impactful and lasting. These personal lessons become indelible marks on the pages of our lives, shaping us in ways that secondhand advice cannot.

When you rely solely on the experiences of others, you may gain some moral lessons in advance, but they won’t always resonate with you in the same way as lessons learned firsthand. When you face a situation that someone else has warned you about, their advice might not immediately come to mind, because it hasn’t been internalized through your own experience. Therefore, it’s crucial to understand the difference between learning from your own experiences and learning from those of others. Every experience is unique, and the way we learn from them varies depending on the individual, the situation, and even our stage of life.

As children, we absorb information quickly and easily. But as we grow older, we find that things become more complicated. This isn’t necessarily because life itself becomes more complex, but because we start using our brains more actively, analyzing and overthinking situations. When we were younger, we didn’t overthink as much, allowing us to navigate life more simply. Now, as adults, our minds are often cluttered with doubts and fears, making even simple decisions feel overwhelming. Overthinking, in particular, can be a significant obstacle. It can paralyze us, making even the act of taking a deep breath feel difficult and uncomfortable.

For example, before an important interview, you might start overthinking every possible outcome. You imagine the worst-case scenarios, fearing that you won’t be able to answer the questions, and as a result, you become anxious and stressed. Even if the interview goes well, you might dwell on the one question you struggled with, letting it overshadow your success. This kind of overthinking doesn’t help; it only makes things harder.

If you had approached the interview with a calm and focused mindset, trusting yourself and the process, you would have been better prepared to handle whatever came your way. Overthinking doesn’t make situations easier; it complicates them. It can either inflate your fears or cause you to underestimate your abilities. While some people might claim that overthinking helps them prepare, this isn’t true for everyone. What works for one person might not work for another. It’s important to find what works best for you, rather than trying to live according to someone else’s methods.

Life is full of choices, and the key to navigating it successfully is to make decisions that align with your own beliefs and values. You can’t live your life on someone else’s terms; doing so will only lead to dissatisfaction and regret. No one else can tell you how to live your life in a way that will bring you true happiness and fulfillment. Even those who seem to have it all figured out are often struggling with their challenges and insecurities.

So, before you push yourself to the brink by trying to meet someone else’s expectations, take a step back and rethink their suggestions. Don’t overthink every little thing in life. Life can be as simple or as complicated as you make it. If you want to see it as easy, you’ll find ways to simplify it. If you see it as hard, you’ll find reasons to make it difficult. The key is to trust yourself and your instincts. This is the best way to avoid unnecessary stress and anxiety, which can take a toll on your health and well-being.

If you feel like you’re stuck and not making any progress, take a moment to reflect on what life is trying to teach you. Every situation, whether good or bad, has a lesson to offer. Once you start learning from these experiences, you’ll find that they can help you grow and evolve. Remember, not all learning happens in the classroom or from a book. Life itself is a teacher, and every person you meet, every situation you encounter, can teach you something valuable.

As children, we were taught by older, more experienced teachers. But as we grow older, we realize that anyone can be a teacher if we’re open to learning from them. Even a child can teach us something valuable if we’re willing to listen. Their perspective on life, while different from ours, can offer insights that we might have overlooked. The problems they face may seem small to us, but they approach them with a level of creativity and resilience that we can learn from.

Learning doesn’t have to be a tedious process. If you’re open to it, you can learn something from everything and everyone around you. However, if you resist learning, life has a way of forcing the lessons on you, and the second time around, they won’t be easy. Life doesn’t give you the same lesson twice without increasing the difficulty. So, before you wish for something, make sure you’re ready to handle the consequences of that wish being granted.

Navigating life requires careful thought and consideration. It’s not always going to be easy, but it doesn’t have to be harder than you can handle. Remember, you are stronger than you think. You are capable of lifting yourself up, supporting yourself, and pushing yourself to new heights. You don’t need to rely on anyone else to do this for you. You have the power to shape your own life, to create your happiness, and to overcome any obstacle that comes your way.

Life will teach you many lessons, and the day you realize that you are responsible for your happiness and success, you will have learned one of the greatest lessons of all. Each experience you go through adds another chapter to your life story, another lesson to carry with you. These lessons, learned through personal experience, become a part of you, shaping your character and guiding your future decisions.

So, embrace the small details in life, the little things that teach you big lessons. Each one is a digit added to the sum of your life, contributing to your growth and wisdom. Trust yourself, believe in yourself, and remember that you are capable of overcoming any challenge. The experiences you go through will make you stronger, more resilient, and more prepared for whatever comes next.

In the end, life is about learning, growing, and evolving. The lessons you learn from your own experiences will stay with you forever, guiding you through the ups and downs of life. Trust in your journey, and know that you have the strength and wisdom to navigate it successfully.