CHAPTER 6
Beyond Comparison: Finding Your Own Definition of Success
Success, happiness, and the small yet deeply important moments in our lives are often seen through our viewpoints. These ideas change and grow as we move through life. When we were younger, success might have meant something as simple as finishing homework or playing with friends. But as we got older, our idea of success changed. It became about getting good grades, graduating, or landing a job. Even after we achieve these things, the meaning of success continues to evolve, shifting with our changing goals and life situations.
Happiness, too, shifts as we grow. What once made us happy, like a favorite toy or a day spent with family, may no longer bring the same joy as adults. As we grow, the things that make us happy also change, reflecting our new priorities and desires. This constant change in what happiness and success mean to us is a natural part of life. It reminds us that we are always learning, growing, and adjusting to new stages.
It’s important to remember that we shouldn’t let society or other people define what success or happiness should look like for us. Each of us is on a unique journey, shaped by our dreams, experiences, and challenges. Our upbringing, relationships, and struggles mold us into individuals with our distinct views of the world. Because of this, what others see as success or happiness might not fit us—and that’s completely okay. Our real strength comes from understanding and embracing our individuality.
One of the key lessons to understand is that perfection doesn’t exist. No one is perfect, and no one will ever be perfect, because life itself is always changing. Our feelings change, the people around us change, and our surroundings change too. These changes force us to adapt, and when we do, it shows that we’re growing. People who resist change and refuse to grow often get stuck. But those who accept that things are constantly evolving find it easier to grow into better versions of themselves. If you’re questioning why everything around you is changing, you might be focusing on the wrong thing. Instead of fearing change, try to embrace it. It’s a sign that you’re moving forward.
In today’s world, it’s easy to compare yourself to others. You might feel like you’re falling behind or not doing as well as others. But remember, your journey is yours alone. The challenges you face and the victories you achieve are part of what makes you unique. They help you grow into the best version of yourself. You don’t have to live up to anyone else’s idea of success or happiness. Focus on what you want for yourself, and let your personal goals guide you forward.
As we start to love and understand ourselves more deeply, we realize that the things we once thought were important—like praise or approval from others—matter less and less. Real success isn’t measured by what society thinks, but by how well our achievements match who we truly are. The more we love and accept ourselves, the more we understand that success is about inner peace and personal growth, not external rewards.
If you ever feel pressured to change, make sure that change is coming from within, because you want to improve yourself—not because someone else thinks you should. Never let outside forces dictate who you become. If someone is trying to control you or force you to change in ways that don’t feel right, that’s a warning sign. Living life on your terms means keeping control of your own choices and actions. You are the one writing your own story, not someone else.
At the end of each day, remind yourself that self-love, resilience, and growth are the true signs of success. These are the qualities that will help you get through hard times and keep growing into the person you want to be. Let your journey inspire not only you but others around you. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to feel good about your life. You already have the power to be your hero.
Take a moment every day to think about three things you like about yourself. How have those qualities helped you so far? How will they help you in the future? By focusing on your strengths, you’ll see that success isn’t about money, fame, or praise. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself, growing a little every day, and living a life that feels true to who you are.
