The Quiet Moment Turns Joyful

The time displayed on the clock was 3:00 a.m. and the house was suffocatingly still. I just sat before my altar in the puja room, weeping in the dark without turning on the lights. For years, months, and days I had prayed, lit lamps, and begged for a sign, but looking at the face of Maa Kali, I felt absolutely nothing. I felt a hollowness, and that very feeling of disconnection from the divine was a crushing, heavy weight on my heart.

I then remembered what everybody said about her fierce love and care. Upon recalling those things, my heart stayed cold as I failed to feel the actual emotion, care, love, and support of the divine.

Amidst this feeling of hollowness, emptiness, and a heart filled with grief, I suddenly realized the moments in my life before when I could not stand on my own feet, when I failed in certain things, and when I was insulted by many people. Nobody in this world stood up for me, but the divine mother did everything possible to make me happy. She did everything to push me towards joy, and then I felt that this is not a disconnection; this is a step towards gaining achievement, a step towards gaining the vision of the divine.

I wiped my face and bowed down to my divine mother. I shouted a praise for her, realizing I had not lost her connection. It is a test and a step that will make me successful, and this test taken by my divine mother will lead me to my answer to the insults of the people.

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