Courageous man and the other other poems

1.    Courageous Man

2.    When competence doesn’t see success!

3.    Dream Job

4.    Christmas again!

5.    Surrender to God

6.    My six-figure corporate Job!

7.    Consultant

8.    Lonely Flower

9.    Food

10. Prayer

11. Will we ever know?

12. Crossroads

13. Dilemma of the Thames

14. Journey of Life

15. My mistakes

16. Daughter

17. The Saddest Person

18. Happy Go lucky

19. Destiny

20. Doctor Daughter

 

1.    Courageous Man

 

I create my destiny,

Make things happen, even when difficult,

Take on obstacles much bigger than me,

I’m a courageous man.

 

I hear all that people say,

I bear all the pain that life presents,

I clinch my fists and harden my nerves,

I’m a courageous man.

 

Others may do as they like,

I may get lucky or I may not,

I shall overcome all that comes my way,

I’m a courageous man.

 

I have achieved little,

I make mistakes all the time, 

I fail often, but

I’m a courageous man.

 

I have a mission in life,

This is my life till my last breadth,

I shall achieve it come what may,

I’m a courageous man.

 

 

 

2.    When competence doesn’t see success!

 

Competence doesn’t always see success,

It demotivates the competent but challenges them further,

It ends up making them even more competent.

 

It has some surprising implications,

The incompetent lead the competent,

The families and friends of the competent doubt them,

The societies get role models, they cannot be inspired by.

 

If it happens for too long,

The competent become incompetent,

The incompetent become somewhat competent,

An equilibrium is reached for the unfortunate world,

At a lower level.

 

 

3.    Dream Job

 

Every job starts as a dream,

The dream itself or a path to the dream.

 

It starts with a glint and a hope,

And a smile and a goal.

 

When the dream continues,

So does the effort, hope, success and love.

Positivity springs forward,

Relationship flowers and ideas come through

 

The job becomes the end,

Or a means to the ends,

Even though there are bends,

Forward the consciousness it sends.

 

For it continues to be,

More than an exchange,

A dream job.

 

But when the dream ends,

It shatters dream, breaking hearts.

To disbelief and pain.

And the search continues – for a dream job.

 

 

4.    Christmas again!

 

The earliest Christmas I can remember,

Was the one when I was a young parent,

Hiding gifts in the balcony for my children,

And prompting them to somehow go there.

 

What amazing moments were those,

When the Children went there and found those gifts,

This joy didn’t last them for too many years though,

As years went by and added themselves to my children.

 

Many more Christmases came and went,

Eventless on the mornings as they knew,

There was no Santa and no hidden gifts.

 

Little ones grow up,

And leave homes to create their own,

Leaving parents to greet them Merry Christmas,

From afar like the distances Santa used to travel to.

 

I refuse to grow up,

And still sing out the Christmas Carols,

The way I sang it for my little children,

And cry deep within,

For the gifts I didn’t hide for them when I was their Santa,

On Christmas and the year round.

 

 

5.    Surrender to God

 

This universe and us,

Random event both.

 

Our life- a small blip,

With an infinite prelude and an infinite follow through.

 

All of us moving to death,

At different speeds,

And at different stages.

 

We have obligations to a few loved ones,

And a few have to us,

Everything else is a barter.

 

Every time we go in,

We hope for a miracle,

We think of all the times we tried and failed,

Of being unlucky,

Of our karmas now coming to our rescue.

 

None count.

Every event is random.

 

Be the best you can be,

Do the best you can,

And surrender for the rest to God,

The God of random events.

 

6.    My six-figure corporate Job!

 

Keeping away from people and things I love,

Doing things that I don’t like and that don’t matter,

Listening to people who don’t make sense,

Working on worthless data,

Sitting through meetings where nothing happens,

Saying things I have learnt to believe in,

Holding back grudgingly what I would want to say,

Requesting dinners with the people I can’t stand,

Exploiting my body mind and soul so much,

That I don’t even look like a human figure.

 

Hating people, things, times,

Blaming the universe. Cursing self.

Ageing fast. Losing faith.

In my personality, negativity and jealousy figuring high.

 

Slotting people as useful or useless,

Superior or lower,

Unable to deal with people as equal human beings.

Weak in listening, poor in focus,

Even on a simple sum, come up with a different figure every time.

 

Displaying smiles that are fake,

Questioning my situation that boxes me,

Agreeing to feudal systems that are flawed.

Waiting for miracles for escape,

But unable to figure my way out.

 

Running that lap all over again,

Without a check on where it’s taking me.

Grinning at events when there are no choices,

Of use to none, not figuring in social scheme of things.

 

Can’t even enjoy my reflected glory,

For I know how false it is.

Wasting my life. Living a waste.

Waiting forever, wanning my life.

Letting figures on the calendar move by without purpose.

 

Taking orders that are presented like requests,

For the security of the employer’s lap,

And the cheque that comes every month,

for a six-figure corporate job.

 

 

 

 

7.    Consultant

 

I sell services that few want,

And matter to none.

 

I quote prices that everyone thinks are high,

With few experiences in the areas I serve,

And fewer people in the team who have done them.

 

I reach out to people intelligent and dumb,

People in large companies and small,

People senior and juniors who started recently,

Anyone anywhere else who can give business,

And follow up till they shoo me away or stop responding.

 

I claim that we have a large organisation,

With teams around the world,

Lie about our solutions that are cutting edge,

Technologies that are proprietary,

Knowing that I would search for them tonight.

 

I get pushed by my firm,

To sell and collect fee- every week.

Exploited by my clients, teams and bosses alike.

 

Almost everything I want to offer to clients,

Falls in someone else’s area of work or territory.

Almost everything I want to do is seen to be too risky,

And takes project level effort and pleading to get approval,

Of course, nothing is ever rejected.

 

I get monitored by several people,

Through mandatory calls and updates,

On what I’m doing and what I will do.

Even though, they will have nothing to add or aid.

 

I am a consultant.

Someone consult me on what I am doing with my life!

 

 

 

8.    Lonely Flower

 

A lonely fresh flower

Fallen on the ground,

Tells a story.

 

Someone beautiful just passed by,

In a hurry.

 

Or something on its way,

To the divine,

Has found its destination.

In its journey.

 

9.    Food

 

For the father it’s a responsibility,

Tough, harsh, everyday.

For his son,

Tasteless.

 

For the son it’s a luxury,

Optional, playful, whenever.

For him,

Tasteless.

 

When the son has it,

The father is full.

 

10. Prayer

 

Group

of loved ones

a family.

 

When pleasant,

heaven.

when not,

curse.

 

When together,

Bliss.

When afar,

Wait.

 

When loving,

a prayer.

 

11. Will we ever know?

 

Who sent me here?

 

What did he or she expect from me? Did he discuss that with me before I came? Did I agree to whatever will happen here? Then, why do I despair? Why do I not remember what I agreed with him? Would I have still come had I disagreed?

 

Would he check back after I’m done? What will be my reward or punishment?

 

Did I choose where I would land up- country, place, home? Did I choose when? Could I have come elsewhere, when?

 

Was I alone negotiating all this? What about others who are also here? Did we negotiate looking at one another? Why does it feel that the people we meet here have been with us earlier?

 

Some of us have come differently- abled? Did we choose that too? Were they forced? Will they be judged differently?

 

Am I that or is that me? Are we all that or is that all of us?

 

Was there anything before or will there be anything after?

 

Why did he choose for me and not me for him? Or did I?

 

Why do some of us return earlier? Do they long for him or he for them? Do they care more for him than those around here?

 

What do we gain through all this and what does he gain? Can we carry the gains or losses forward and did we carry them forward from the previous journeys? Who keeps scores?

 

Why do some people give me more love than I give them? Why some less? Will all these be accounted for? When will this even out?

 

Will I keep coming back? How many times? With what gap? Do we all come back? Then why do our numbers keep increasing?

 

Will I come back to give back to my parents, to my dog and to my favorite oak tree? Will the Chicken I devoured come back to devour me?

 

Will we ever know? Or will we keep asking these questions?

 

12. Crossroads

 

I stand at a dark crossroad,

Puzzled and pondering?

Hope through flashes of silver lining alternating with

Fear and dilemma dangling destructively every moment.

 

Is right wrong or left right?

Which one may prove to be bright?

The gains and their terms?

The price and prize of truth?

 

I came to the conclusion finally,

Justified it to the other voice within,

Indulged in self praise for taking a decision,

And came out of the mist well.

 

Only a few steps on the chosen path,

And I am at the crossroad again.

Is life a road between crossroads,

Or is it crisscrosses?

 

I turn back to see the last crossroad,

And wonder if I had done right?

A voice within me yells- blunder

Was that the conscience, the mind or the sub-conscious?

 

Its these blunders we make that guide us,

To where we belong.

As my mind calms down, I hear a clear inner voice,

Conviction makes the voice stronger and I see just one path ahead,

And decide to follow it.

 

This will be a path to struggle,

But to learning and satisfaction,

Where what alone rules

Is my inner voice of conscience.

 

13. Dilemma of the Thames

 

For centuries, people planned terror,

On my banks

And throughout the globe unleashed it ever.

 

The wretched had to only suffer,

While the lords had everything,

But to offer.

 

In the decades of late,

The air beside me is free and just,

And prosperity has prevailed.

 

The streets are metaled, lit and literate,

The discipline and smiles ubiquitous,

But the houses are separate.

 

The words are shallow,

My waters tremble,

As I see families tumble.

 

What do I have on my meanders?

Possessions that are matchless,

But men that are like machines.

 

My tears want me away,

To the far off lands of the Ganges,

Bleed in pain and hurting.

But do I hear the Ganges crying,

With the sobs so loud,

I can hear them far here.

 

She complains of the oppressed of the past,

Oppressing the other oppressed from the past,

Cruelty, suffering everywhere like the past.

 

Where do we go?

To the animal kingdom in the deep forests or the deep seas,

Or in the Indian homes in the London Streets?

 

 

 

 

14. Journey of Life

 

As the Sun arose with its crimson hues,

I waited to catch its first glow,

Happy and excited with possibilities and hopes,

I climbed up ever so gradually and filled my life with energy.

 

Then he crawled to his warmth giving me happiness.

 

My life was all around his shine and it seemed

his glow was just for me.

 

As he rose higher, he became warmer,

A little harsh and a little rebellious.

I began to avoid him covering myself

in anything I could find- work, physical strength, power.

 

Then he reached his peak heat,

Too hot for me

I found him

burning me.

 

He would seem to set soon,

Actually, it is I who would set for

The Sun doesn’t really set.

 

His crimson glow has returned

to the horizon and I long for it

remembering the glow that was my life long ago.

 

I want to catch that evading glow at my fag end,

But it seems I could have been more loving

when the rays used to fall for me when he rose

Now they seem to slant away.

 

My son,

how I cherish the days

when you rose in my life.

 

15. My Mistakes

 

My mistakes – my companions

Always with me- I’m never lonely.

They join me when I am empty or when I am about to be bored. 

They save me from new sadness

They take me to my old familiar ones. 

While most past things deteriorate and fade,

they are ever fresh and grow bigger as they age.

They keep me connected

to my roots and my past. 

Their number keeps growing.

Yet the old ones remain as prominent as ever. 

They let me experiment with all the wisdom I get

On living in the present, forgiving self, making a new beginning, what happens happens for good. 

They keep my analytical skills sharp

As I think over the thousandth reason, aspect, context, implication

of what had happened 36 years ago. 

They make me an oracle

As I mentor the whole world on life lessons. 

They make me a poet and an author as I have so much to tell. 

They make me wise

since I am unlikely to make the same mistakes- at least not the exact same. 

They make feel even more wise

don’t our mistakes teach us so much.

They make me a philosopher

I can rationalize and explain everything

And its exact opposite.

They make me a dreamer

on scenarios about what could have been. 

They make me humble and human- for to err is human

and to err so much for so long is so much more human. 

They keep my memory cells active

I can remember the exact details.

They inspire me to visit places associated with them. 

They give me reasons to cry and keep my tear glands active. 

I hate my mistakes,

What would I be without you?

I love them too,

For what am I with you?

16. Daughter

 

If you want to know a man, meet his daughter.

You wont need her photo,

You can spot her in a crowd.

You don’t need to ask her about her father,

Her is him- chiseled.

 

Daughter carries a man’s mission forward,

When a man is down,

His daughter keeps his hopes alive.

He gets a second chance in his life

Through her.

 

If you want to know how the father is feeling,

Look at her.

She rejoices in his joy.

And cries in his slightest sorrows.

 

Don’t mess with a man,

Who has a daughter

For she will know

Even when untold.

And take it to her soul.

 

She will question her father

shout hard

And win the debates

Only to live her life by the defeated argument.

 

Daughters are his signature,

Just cuter and sweeter.

 

17. The saddest person

 

I met a sad Girl.

She had struggled all her life.

Worked hard against odds.

 

She had achieved little,

Had nothing to feel happy for.

Her achievements ordinary.

 

No one thought highly of her,

Few people remembered her.

 

But there was someone more sad than her,

It was her rich and famous father.

 

 

 

 

 

18.Happy Go lucky

 

There was a young Girl,

She studied hard through her schools,

And played with her lovely friends,

She took part in everything,

Everything was of interest to her.

She made happiness her nature,

She would do anything to be happy,

Buy nice things, go to nice places.

Pamper herself with the money her parents gave her.

She then went to the university,

The best one.

For the best course.

Everyone said she was lucky.

She worked hard,

And rewarded herself with the best of things,

She was happy always.

Then she got the best job,

Married a loving boy,

Lived in a comfortable home,

In a beautiful city.

She became rich and famous,

Everyone said she is kind and helpful,

They always found her happy.

For her,

Her happiness was paramount,

At all costs.

She attracted happy people

Who made her even happier.

Her happiness was her nature

She kept getting lucky

She was

happy go lucky.

It seems whenever God had to take decisions

He could not imagine her lit up happy face

Switching to any other emotion.

 

19.  Destiny

 

Sometimes it appears

I am the slave of my destiny

Every part of the act is pre-decided

I have to play my part.

Other times it appears

I’m the master of my destiny

I create my own reality

There is nothing I can’t manifest.

Both these situations bother me

The first makes me helpless

The second arrogant.

Neither are completely true either

How can I have no role?

How can I control everything?

What if I started to collaborate

With the universe

Rather than compete with it!

Can I then cocreate

With the universe

My destiny

It’s destiny.

20.  Doctor Daughter

 

Many years ago, my daughter arrived in my life and from that very day,

the world around me has become different in a very and loving sweet way.

I got her doctor-sets and everything we played was a doctor-patient game,

That began to nudge her to medicine when she grew up and the time came.

when she was choosing her subjects, she would ask and I used all my emotional heft,

Geography was just general knowledge, all were bad till Biology was the only one left.

Her friends chose marketing, engineering, arts, fashion, humanities, and media,

Sweetie didn’t want to break my heart, and so worked my long-planned idea.

No peer pressure nor any group think, she chose Medicine and went far- just her alone,

New place, new people, so she wouldn’t disappoint her father- now left behind at home.

Med-school was cruel, twenty-hour days for five years, enough to faint even the most fit,

Four-hour lectures and exams, assignments and long hospital shifts, not even a place to sit.

I ask the professors, don’t you ever look up and see their sad faces and feelings, you kind souls,

How can you not see they are forever tired, stressed and sleep deprived, you psychologists?

You ENT people can’t hear their cries, see their red eyes and dry lips and that they are at their worst,

Happy healthy adults came to you to become doctors, but do you need to make them patients first.

Rude, indifferent, cryptic, you torture the 18-year-olds in their shifts, none of you have a daughter?

They come to you with questions and for guidance, and you heartless cardiologists, not for slaughter. 

You have syllabi to cover, but what about your empathy, kindness, gut feeling and your own brain, 

Accomplished gastroenterologists and brain surgeons, what makes you blind to their ordeal and pain.

Why can’t you keep some syllabus for when they specialise and teach what is for the start sufficient?

You cover all the rarest of rare complications and diseases before they see the first fever patient!

Wouldn’t the treatment protocol allow them an hour while the doctors refer to deeper knowledge,

In the five rare cases they will be faced with in their lives, that must become part of third year coverage!

Do you want them to drop out, get depressed, do drugs or kill themselves rather?

They have endured a lot, they won’t in spite of you because they love us – their father.

The father they think of the whole time, and who cries while you make them suffer and cry,

We keep cursing ourselves for pushing them into it, even as they tell us they are OK- they lie.

Be nicer, caring and pleasant, for many of these hopeful kids, this is the first time away from home,

Make your schools a happier place, for these jewels who have come to you having other outshone.

We gave our daughters so you could prepare them for the long road for serving humanity all their life,

You tortured them everyday till they couldn’t raise their eyebrows in twenties before the year five.

Noble profession we know, but you could have been a little more noble on their tender way,

A journey, where the doctor father- for pushing their baby your way- curses himself every day.

You took oath to keep pure and holy your life and your art and to abstain from wrongdoing and harm,

Monstrous hypocrites you became to those who treat you as parents seeking the medicine world charm.

Medical school people, listen to pained doctor fathers and their wrath before it is too late,

New students may still keep coming for their fathers don’t know their children’s fate.

One day, alone in the company of skeletons and bodies in the mortuary to rag and gag and all unhinged,

You will be in your killing med schools, with no angels for the millions suffering in the world all singed.

Don’t invite the doctor father’s wrath, my daughter is all I have, she is my soul, my life’s goal- my pride,

The light of my life, please let her glow and shine, this is a curse from someone a part of whom has died.

21. Fight House

We are all presidents of nations at war in front of a superpower.

We are at war with something or someone all the time.

Everyone we are in front of is a superpower for something or someone.

When we confront him, we want to show that we also have respect.

That we are angry for we have a foe whom we fight alone.

We want to feel pampered for we are looking for support.

We want him that he is with us.

We want the world to know that we can fight.

And to know that getting support is our right.

But we forget that we are already at war.

That we need a friend not one more foe.

That those who show gratitude get more.

That we don’t need to make this into a Fight House.

That it’s not about the cards we are dealt with but how we deal with them.

That others will not help if superpower doesn’t, for they all seek his friendship.

That relationships matter more than guarantee since friendships are rare on earth and are guarantee themselves.

Because we are already at war and he is a super power.