Over An Orange

I sit still in the silence

Thoughts of the past

Still serenading me

The warm embrace of warmth

Even the chilling stark of misery

Confused by the semblance

Of acceptance or reluctance.

What should be made of my ponderings?

Mistakes made, the damage done

And memories laid to waste

Puzzled cacophony of regret

Shadowed by warm solace

What to make of it?

Complex individuality which arose

Should I be proud of this morose?

Or enjoy the stories unfolded in my mind

Of people enjoyed and some quietly despised

Acceptance of the past is at what cost?

The paranoia and never-ending guilt the hidden cost.

A paradoxical way of symphony

Blissful happiness to be enticed

The cold regret and paranoia surmised

The clutches of paranoid sickles

The illusion of paralysing misguide

A construct of futility

By our thoughts of destruction disguised.

Hounds of sorrow set free

Seemingly we are in its agonizing teeth

Deep in the rabbit hole of restless despise

Even Though God promised us Peaceful respite

I must move forward with a sense of apathy

But not forget the cause of my new found empathy.