Humor Me - College Diaries - ZorbaBooks

Humor Me – College Diaries

The result of our mid-term exam was declared and I scored very badly in it. But telling about this to my parents was a herculean task. Thinking about this, I got cold and fever, due to which I was absent for a week and missed all the classes. Though I never studied in college, I hardly missed any classes in college.

It was again Prof. Deshmukh’s class. He was teaching us Partial derivatives that was being stretched from past 15 days. His style of teaching was a bit different.

‘I don’t want anybody to scribble in notebook, when I am explaining. I’d give you separate time for writing’ he used to say. However, the time given by him to take notes could be compared only with the time given to an athlete in Olympics, I thought, when he asked,

‘What is the partial derivative of this?’ He was pointing at the board.

‘Sir…!’ I exclaimed.

‘Yes you, I am asking you only. Tell me the partial derivative of this.’

‘Sir, actually I was absent for the whole of last week, so I don’t know,’ I said.

‘What?’ he asked furiously. You were absent last week so you don’t know the partial derivative. Do you know when did we start partial derivatives in class?

‘Sir?’ my face had shrunk.

‘What sir, just get out. I don’t want dozing student in my class.

‘Yes sir’ I said and left the class happily. Deshmukh sir used to take attendance in the beginning of the class, so I had no grudge about missing the class. As I was going down the staircase, I heard somebody calling my name.

‘Hey Rajesh, Wait’ it was Pratham who had sat next to me in the class.

‘Pratham. You were sitting in the class?’

‘Don’t ask anything. Same thing happened to me. He asked me to leave the class for not telling in the partial derivative and I’m here.’

‘Oh! Great,’ I said merrily, and we proceeded towards the canteen. Canteen was a prohibited area for 1st year freshers according to seniors. Still, we ordered samosas sitting at the nearest table from the counter.

As we were enjoying the samosas, two guys looking like Z grade Hindi movie hero sat in front of us.

‘This year’s freshers don’t have any respect for their seniors, what say?’ one of them was talking to another guy.

‘We didn’t rag them this year na? That is why they feel like free birds.’ The other guy spoke.

I guessed it right that both these Z grade heroes are pointing towards Pratham & me. So, I signalled Pratham to get out from there, but this fatso was so busy in eating the samosas, that he could not understand what I wanted to convey. So finally, I burst out of anger,

‘Why are you eating that plate? Let’s get out of here’

So, I tried to escape from there.

‘Hey Hero, where are you going?’ one of the senior guys asked me.

‘M…M…Me. Nowhere. I just wanted to drink water,’ I said.

‘Just sit down here,’ he ordered.

I sat and another guy almost scolded, ‘Watch, belt, long hairs…hmmmm.’ He pointed towards me and continued, ‘So, do you think you are a hero or something? Hey, his hairstyle resembles Shahrukh Khan or what?’

‘Hmmmm… Hey Mr. SRK, now sing a song for us,’ It was first one’s turn now.

‘Song, actually sir, I don’t know any song’

‘Hey Shahrukh Khan, don’t act now. I asked you to sing and not act. Or we will act like Kadar Khan.’ the first one said.

‘Which song do you want me to sing?’ I asked him, as Pratham was getting tensed beside me.

‘So, you’ll sing? Ok, you can sing any song of your choice. But I want this fatso to dance on your song. So, the song must be a dance number. What say dude?’ after hearing this Pratham was almost shocked?

‘So, guys, ready for the adventure?’ the second guy asked.

Pratham pleaded, ‘I can’t dance sir.’

‘Oh! So, you can eat in canteen in lecture time, but you can’t dance. Funny! You must dance. Ready, steady, start!’

And I started singing, ‘Chal Chaiyya Chaiyya Chaiyya Chaiyya..’.

Pratham was somehow managing to move his fleshy butt, seeing which I could not resist my laughter. Seeing me, both started laughing.

‘Ok. Stop it now and sit.’ The first one said.

‘You are good. What’s your name?’ he asked me.

‘Rajesh, Rajesh Deshkar’ I said.

‘And you?’ He asked Pratham.

‘A. Pratham.’

‘What’s A? A for Apple or what?’ Asked the first guy.

‘Apparao, sir’

‘Ok, we love your moves Pratham, and your song was good, Rajesh. You guys can do it yaar. But why are you bunking the class?’ The second guy asked.

I told him the whole story of Prof. Deshmukh’s class. Listening to which they could not control laughing.

‘Deshmukh is like that only. We call him circuit,’ the first guy said.

‘But you should be sincere in his class, or you won’t get good internal marks.’ the second one said and both left.

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Atul R Thakare